“We stayed in the barn for about two days. We had absolutely no food and water. We were starving.”

Strange sounds on the street woke me up on February 24, 2022. There was a feeling that something very big was moving along the road producing a loud hum. I looked in window and saw that a heavy armored vehicle with the symbols “Z” on it was moving down the road. At the time we didn’t even understand what that meant. This was the beginning of a large-scale war and severe trials that awaited me and my family. My husband got dressed and went to work. I was at home with my mother-in-law and my son. We turned on TV and saw that the war had officially begun. It was a very difficult and scary day. Later, a siren began to wail notifying citizens of air danger, it started to explode everywhere. At seven o’clock in the morning the loudspeaker announced beginning of war. I was very scared and did not know what to do now. Five years before the war a tragedy happened in our family – my husband and I lost a child who was born prematurely on 7th months of pregnancy, doctors could not save her life. I survived a very complicated gynecological operation after which I could no longer have children. In 2021my dad died. We were very close with my dad. The stress I survived lead to increase of blood pressure and my hands started to shake. In the hospital I passed some tests – at the age of 40 symptoms of the early stage of Parkinson’s disease were discovered. I also had to constantly monitor blood pressure level. I started taking medicine. One day an ambulance took me away from work with a diagnosis of a microstroke which paralyzed the left side of my body. My husband and his mother helped me to get better. We have not been prepared to war. We had no reserves of food or other things that are needed in emergency situations. When the war started we realized that we had very little food and there was nowhere to buy food. All the shops were closed, there were terrible explosions on the street, we were afraid to even go outside. We shared food with our neighbors. Farmers brought milk from the nearby village – Popivka – and distributed it for free. Information spread around the city that Russian troops could throw various things, food or even toys into the yard but it was strictly forbidden to pick them up because they could contain explosives. On February 26 we saw in our yard a toy that contained an explosive device inside – it was demined by Ukrainian military forces. I have two children. A daughter who is 19 years old – she was with my mother in the city of Baturyn (Chernihiv region) at the time of the full-scale invasion of the Russian army – and a son who was 10 years old that time and lived with us. The son was very frightened by the explosions and he constantly hid. For the first few days we hid in cellar. There were raw potatoes and preserves that we ate. But it was very cold and we went to our house where my son was constantly sitting in the closet among the clothes. Sometimes he hid in the dog house. He thought that our dog could protect him. He asked me all the time if we were going to be killed, cried and said that he wanted to live. There were constant battles on the street, Russian troops moved through the city but the Ukrainian military forces tried to knock them out. We constantly heard shots.

Our city consists of couple districts. We lived in a small district near Zagrebellya – it was through our district that the Russian troops entered so we were the first to come under fire. Once I went out to our yard. I moved very poorly – I managed to move only with a stick in my hand. My husband was in the city where he was looking for at least some food for us. Someone knocked in our gate, I opened the gate and saw a soldier with a machine gun. I asked him: “Who are you?” and he replied that he is Russia and had come to kill the people of Bandera. After this he hit me on the head with a stock of his rifle. I lost consciousness. I was saved by a neighbor who ran to aid me and managed to call an ambulance. I came to my senses already in hospital intensive care unit. My head was cracked. After that my legs stopped to move and I moved only in a wheelchair. In the first days of March I returned home from the hospital. My husband’s mother took care about me, she took me out to the yard to breathe fresh air until there were no alarms. My ten-year-old son was next to me. Than we saw in our yard a Russian soldier who was hitting me on the head with a rifle stock. He was standing with a machine gun smiling and aiming at me. My son was very scared, I begged my son to run and hide somewhere because he could shoot at him too. But everything happened very quickly, a Russian soldier shot me with a machine gun and ran away. The bullet passed through the exit without causing critical damage. My husband gave me first aid. On this day there were very fierce battles in the city. The Ukrainian military forces knocked out the enemy from Konotop. The Russian military destroyed everything they could. Rockets destroyed the aircraft repair plant, the runway, they also destroyed part of the maternity hospital. The strikes were so precise that it seemed that someone was telling them where to hit. They also robbed houses, abused people physically and psychologically. They went from house to house and took away animals, food supplies that people had. Our house was no exception either. My family and the family of our neighbors were kicked out of the house by the Russian military forces and locked in a shed. They threatened to burn us if we don’t give them all the valuables we had. They brought a canister of gasoline and demanded that we give money and gold we had. I was injured, although my husband gave me first aid, but such an injury could not heal by itself without the help of doctors. We stayed in the barn for about two days. We had absolutely no food and water. We were starving. My son was crying and asking for something to eat. After inspecting the shed all across we did not find anything to eat. We tried to eat hay but it was very cold and raw. We begged to give at least some food for the child but no one ever responded. We did not understand how much longer it would last and whether we would survive. But on March 6 the Ukrainian military forces pushed the enemy out of the city and saved us. The first thing I remember is that the barn door opens and I see a Ukrainian soldier taking off his peacoat and putting it on my ten-year-old son. My son was all covered in my blood as he was huddled with me all the time in the barn. The soldier asked him if he was injured but the son pointed in my direction and begged to provide medical help to me as soon as possible. We left the barn and I saw the corpses of Russian soldiers right in our yard. It was very strange but I did not feel the pain of the injury and fear, I only felt terrible hunger. We really wanted to eat. Our soldiers fed us and then they took me to the hospital where I received medical attention. I had an operation and a blood transfusion because I had a huge blood loss during last two days. I spent a week in the hospital. Ukrainian government started to evacuate people from the city. First children and the elderly were taken away. Volunteers came bringing humanitarian aid and medical supplies. Since I had Parkinson’s disease which had pretty much advanced during this period I needed therapy and medication which, unfortunately, the volunteers did not have. On March 14, 2022 we were evacuated from the city. Although the military agreed on the so-called green corridor for the civilian population the purpose of which was to safely take people to more remote areas we drove under fire almost all the way from Konotop and could start breathing only when we were in the city of Lubny. In Lubny we were also met by local volunteers who exchanged my old wheelchair, which could barely move because it was damaged by a bullet, for an old but intact one. I could even ride in it. I’ve been bandaged, we were provided with hot food. Everyone was given warm clothes and a backpack with various tasty treats for children. My son was constantly trying to stock up with bread and water and he didn’t even eat the tasty treats. I looked at him and saw how much he had grown up in these few weeks. He was no longer the ten-year-old brawler I knew. He was a grown man in a small body trying to take care of me and dad. He knew where the volunteers were distributing food and where you could get medical help. He was no longer interested in sweets but he was interested in where he could get bread and canned food just in case. At 10 p.m. an evacuation train heading to Lviv arrived. We traveled for 15 hours sometimes stopping for a short time, volunteers ran into the train with food and water. On March 15 we were in western Ukraine. In Lviv we were met by volunteers who helped by providing warm clothes and shoes. We were transferred to a bus which drove us to the border with Poland. However, the first time we failed to cross the border as my husband did not have a certificate that he is a person taking care and accompanying a person with a disability and therefore has right to cross the border with me. We returned late at night back to the village where we were supposed to spend the night. I was in a wheelchair and someone pushed it, I fell and broke my knee. We were in the suburbs of Przemyśl for two days and were waiting for a decision of Ukrainian authorities to the issue the required documents for my husband. We lived in the school sports hall, slept on mats. On March 17 the Russian military began to bomb Lviv and we heard these explosions. There was a feeling that the war was moving with us and there was no safe place at all. With the help of volunteers we got to the local social service which made a document for my husband that he is a supervisor and a person who accompanies a person with disabilities. On March 18 all our family crossed the border at the Hrushiv border crossing. We were met by Polish border guards and volunteers and only there my son was able to relax and took sweets and goodies from the volunteers. They brought me a comfortable wheelchair, a warm blanket and gave me hot coffee. I felt gratitude, warmth and peace. In the evening of March 18 we went to Kraków, to the reception point for refugees. Local volunteers asked us where we wanted to go next. Since I had a specific disease we were looking for a country that could help me to maintain my health more than anything else. We were recommended either Germany or Sweden. At this refugee reception point there were Swedish volunteers Alan and Viktor who learned about my family and our situation – they were the ones who accompany us all the way to Sweden personally. On March 20, 2022 at one o’clock in the morning we arrived in Sweden.

We were taken to the town of Arild where we lived from March 20 to May 25 in a small house by the sea. The family that hosted us in their guest house – Linus, an orthopedic doctor, and his wife, Bella – took care of us at the best of their abilities. They bought us all the clothes, from underwear to shoes and outerwear. Linus immediately checked me out at the hospital where he worked and insisted on knee surgery as well as surgery to reconstruct the bones in my leg which was one of the reasons why I couldn’t move on my own. They helped us to get documents that allowed us to stay in the country. They also helped me to register as a Parkinson’s patient so that I could receive the medication I needed. It was care that I had never felt before in my life and it came from people who knew nothing about me except that I was a refugee from Ukraine. However, I was like their close relative for them. On March 24 Linus took me to the surgery having previously done all the necessary research. The operation lasted seven hours and ended successfully. Then there was a period of rehabilitation during which I learned to walk again.

On May 25 Migration service arranged us a room in hotel in the city of Malmö. On June 2 we were taken to the city of Bostad to temporary housing where we lived until July 25. On July 1 a new law was issued that delegated the issue of resettlement of asylum seekers to the communes. The migration service came to us and asked which commune we want to go to. My rehabilitation, proper treatment and registration as a Parkinson’s patient were important to me. It was also important that the apartment was on the first floor as I could not move around on my own. The migration service allocated us housing in the city of Lund where we live today.

During the year I studied the Swedish language which was taught to Ukrainians and, in parallel, my husband and I started looking for work. The son went to school. In the summer of 2023 I’ve got a call about job as cook’s assistant in a home for the elderly. I was very worried as I understood that I have certain specifics of health and do not move well on my own, but I really wanted to work. I passed the interview and on August 14, 2023 I went to work for the first time. I really like my work and the team in which I work has become a kind of family for me. I like to introduce Ukrainian kitchen into our menu which are liked by both my colleagues and the people living in the home for the elderly. I also have time to learn Swedish since according to my work contract I work only 75 percent of usual work day. My husband also found a job and works on a farm where he takes care of horses. In December 2023, after 5 years of marriage and 10 years of living together, he and I got married in the Cathedral in Lund. This is my second marriage but my husband is the love of my life. We went through so many trials with him that I am sure he is the person for me. Lund became a special city for both of us now. Our son adapted at the local school and already speaks Swedish very well. Everything turned out well for our family. We are very glad that we got to Sweden where so many people opened their hearts to us. But the memory about what we have experienced will stay with us forever. My son is still afraid of airplanes and loud noises. From time to time, he wakes up at night because he had another nightmare where he is sitting in the barn and he wants to eat. In our house there is always bread on the table and even more than we need. I always have a piece of bread in my pocket, it seems to calm me down. When I put it in my pocket it becomes like a talisman that protects me from all the bad things that happened to us.

There is still a war going on in Ukraine and my mother, my eldest daughter and her husband stayed there. They don’t want to leave Ukraine and a part of my heart is still there where the sirens are wailing and the Shahed drones are flying whose goal is to destroy what is most precious to me. My family makes all the efforts here in Sweden to help our military forces in Ukraine to achieve victory. Every month we collect humanitarian aid, whatever we can, and deliver it to the front. Such evil which we had to see and feel for ourselves should not exist. This darkness must forever leave our land and our lives.